The Story of Doug and Ana

It's our 5 year anniversary, y'all!
That felt so unnatural...

December 16th, 2006, a pretty awesome day in history.

Doug and I met whilst I was singing as a 2nd Soprano in Twilighters (way before Twi-hards everywhere started calling themselves the same). He was the sound guy, it was his job to make me sound awesome and the rest of the group too (also to turn off the mics of those who oversang the crap out of everything).


That was awkward me, in the 2nd Soprano T-Shirt and some of my awesome singing buddies (I love you guys).

 Doug wanted to ask me out, but he didn't have my digits, so he asked my good friend Jana if he could get my number, and then Jana called me immediately to let me in on what was going on. What a good friend.

I was sort of flirting (me, a flirt, no way) with this other guy at the time that Doug asked me out, but to be fair as soon as Doug asked me to be his girlfriend I stopped writing notes, and made sure the other dude didn't walk me to class anymore.

We went to a local Japanese restuarunt, that is undoubtably not there anymore, called Kame. They gave us chopsticks instead of American flatware! Sadly, I asked for a fork.....

I'm skilled with chopsticks now, just 16 year old Ana was not that coordinated.

It was a double date, so we all went back to Doug's place, to his makeshift bedroom in his parents garage that was lovingly referred to as "The Box", because it was literally, a box (a livable box though, not like a cardboard box or anything), oh and it was painted pink (Blushing Bride to be exact).


Doug and I @ Winter Formal



We were all talking about watching a movie, so we decided to watched American History X. Which coincidentally is not a good first date movie. After the curb stomping scene I told Douglas I needed to get home becuase of some fake curfew that my Dad never gave me, and Doug drove me home. But really, I just didn't want to cry my eyes out on our first date. It's a good movie though.

And with that small goodnight kiss was born our undying love for each other. Not really, we broke up (for like 5 days) right before prom, but we rekindled our love and have been together ever since (and yes we ended up going to prom together as a couple).

Happy Anniversary Doogle!

Side note: Happy 2nd Birthday Buddy, you are so adorable! Look at that face....now stop stinking like vomit, and we will have it made. Or maybe I should say, stop eating rocks, dirt and twigs!




Young Buddy

 
I love December, its full with my Anniversary Christmas parties, potlucks, Secret Santa's and best of all Christmas! Happy December everyone! And thank you Jana for giving Doug my phone number.

XOXO, Ana

2 of the Best and 2 of the Worst Jobs

I'm starting to find my groove here at work, finally. The first few months were sort of rough for me. I didn't understand what I was doing, but I knew I was doing it wrong. That's the worst of both worlds (I don't know if that phrase is supposed to be inverted like that, but it was certainly the opposite of  "the best of both worlds").

I'm the kind of person who wants clear direction, especially when it comes to complex evaluations for sustaining lives of children and families that need support. But you know, to each their own.

I have been fortunate to have honestly liked 90% of my past jobs. They were fun, or at least interesting, or if they weren't either, at least it was something to do. My favorite job of all time, and will always be my #1 is working at Hovland Computer Labs as a student worker at Oregon State University (Go Beavers!). My boss understood that first I was a student, and then I was his employee. He wanted to nourish my learning, not hinder it. I tried my hardest to model my managerial style after his, but different institutions value their employees in different ways.

Weatherford Hall = prettiest dorm ever!

Also, I made some kick ass friends for that 3 year stint at Hovland. Lifelong friends (Kim knows what I'm talking about), which are very hard to find.

 My 2nd favorite job was working at Florida State University, the people, my employees, they taught me so much, mostly how to strongly word your emails to make them almost crap their pants. I love those kids (kids = college students that were about 4 years younger than me). I miss them everyday.

University Center A: Where Admissions (among other, lesser things) is.

My least favorite job was my first "real" job (I did telemarketing for an insurance company under the table when I was 14). I was working at Deli Yogurt Express in my small hometown of McMinnville. I didn't need a food permit, but I had to make sanwhiches and wraps, and serve fro-yo. The no-food-permit thing should have been my first clue that this wasn't a legit place to work, but I didn't really care. My second clue would have been that there were gnats in the lettuce. My third clue was that this food establishment was sharing a building with a sketchy video rental/consignment boutique. MAN, those are a TON of clues, I was such a dense kid!

My shift manager had food issues, and would cry almost every shift and have to call her mother. It was scary, and her underwear would always be whale tailing out of her shorts, yikes!

The last straw was one day my car (the big blue beast plymouth acclaim) didn't start so I couldn't come in to work my shift, and I called my boss and he screamed at me, and made me feel horrible. I hung up the phone and cried, then my Dad came home from work, and I told him what happened and he called up my boss and told him I would be coming by to collect my last check. My Dad is amazing, he rescued me!

My other least liked job would be, the nursing home internship. I felt like I walked into a prison. The inmates, I mean, old people, would try and hide food at lunch and dinner, some would just put the food in their mouth and pocket the food in their cheeks like rodents. The nurses would have to come by and finger out the food in their mouth. UGH! Gross. Also, I saw an inordinate amount of poop from this experience.

 And just so you know, I think poop jokes are hilarious. I'm pretty sure I have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. But when I'm forced to observe poop(ing), it is no longer is a laughing matter.

On that note, you guys should all be grateful that your jobs do not suck, like really badly. Everyone's job sucks a little, but at least you don't have to feed people gnat infested lettuce, or deal with bodily fluids.

What are your favorite/least favorite jobs?

Flagstaff is a horrible HORRIBLE town.... maybe?

We were heading to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago to visit Doug's younger brother, we will call him "Bobby" (since I don't know if wants to be featured in my blog). He just bought a gorgeous condo in Las Vegas, so originally we wanted to go to help him paint, but the painting was 99% done so we didn't lift a finger (we are such nice people).

On the way down there we passed through Flagstaff, Arizona but not without the attention of some sneaky cops. They weren't really sneaky, but they did hide extremely well. Doug drove for most of the trip, but I decided to jump behind the wheel since the landscape was wonderful and all the "major cities" we went through felt like small towns, which gives me no anxiety to drive through them. I maintained a speed between 5-10 miles over the speed limit, which mind you, was the exact same speed my husband was just driving too, and I got pulled over.

It went down like this.

Me: "Doug isn't the snow on these hills gorgeous. Flagstaff is not such a bad place!"
Doug: "Yeah, its really pretty"
Me: "OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP THERE IS A COP!" (he was nestled between two pretty hills)
Then he got up next to me, and slowed down, and as soon as he turned on his lights, I turned on my hazard lights instead of my turn signal and pulled off to the side of the road.

While he was running my plates to see if  I was driving a stolen car, Doug got out my license and our registration out. He is such a good husband, if he were to get pulled over, I would have been frozen, and wouldn't have been able to compose myself around the officer, and I probably would have turned on the hazard lights.

The cop asked me if I knew how fast I was going, and figuring that honesty is the best policy, I decided to say..."Oh, I don't know, around 85", I immediately felt stupid for telling him I was CLEARLY breaking the law, its basically like running up to a cop and saying "I'm breaking the law!" but in this case the cop said "Yes, I did clock you in at 85". I thought for sure he was going to write me a ticket, and then I'd have to feel guilty for the rest of our Vegas trip, but he said the magic words "I'll just write you a warning".

Flagstaff isn't so bad afterall. The warning came back with a clocked speed of 79 mph! What a nice guy!

The rest of the trip went off without a hitch! We visited fancy casino's and plenty of awesome local casinos, that were off the strip. Thats where we won the most money. The last place we visited was called The Canery and it was all 1940's pin up themed, it was so cute! And this guy fell asleep on a slot machine next to me, which was highly entertaining.

I love that she is so CLOTHED! It was nice seeing that for a change (Vegas can be gross).

Then it was back to work for Doug and I, and I was dragging for 3 days after we got back.

In other news, I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn, last Friday and it was awesome, except I miss the enthusiam of southern movie goers. They cheer, and clap, and laugh, I miss that. The movie was overall an awesome one, but it did have some horrible scenes, like any that had those CGI wolves, ugh, they are so poorly done, they should hire WETA (the nerds who did Lord of The Ring), those guys are AWESOME!

Stupid Twilight with its horrible CGI

                                              VS.

Awesome LOTR with its elephant-y animals

I hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving, I know I will. "Bobby" is coming over from Las Vegas, and we plan on watching some Ghostbusters, and making an awesome turkey dinner; jealous?

Did you say...OREGON?!

I keep on hearing people say stuff about my homestate, and I am getting more and more homesick. I miss the people, you know the people that wear hiking shoes everyday, carry backpacks instead of diaper bags, and have several The North Face fleeces that they wear on rotation.

I also miss the proximity to my family. I want to be able to see them on the weekends, watch movies with them, cook for them (ok, I've never cooked for them, but I've helped them cook before, and I miss that!). I miss my dad singing in the kitchen, and dancing (usually doing the twist, to ANY song he hears). I miss you guys soooo much.

I miss my friends! These are the friends that I've known for years! Some since middle school, and they just get me, I don't need to introduce myself, or censor myself, they know my sense of humor.

I miss the trendy eco friendly peeps, that recycle..Oh, how I miss the statewide understanding that EVERYONE recycles!

And the BEACH!
Florida kind of wins this battle, because the beaches there are freakin' GREAT!

How can you argue with that?

But most of all, I just miss Oregon!
  

and this amazing game.

It's baby makin' time

This past year and a half has been some of the best and worst times of my life. I decided to take myself off of hormonal birth control January 2010, and do a little something called Fertility Awareness Method, read Taking Charge of Your Fertility for all the gory details.

I discovered quite quickly that there is something wrong with my womanly hormones. My cycles were inconsistent at best, long and torturous at worst.

In August of 2010 Doug and I began not trying to stop a pregnancy from happening (or to be more straight forward we were actively not preventing conception to occur, ok, OK we were trying for a baby). But things just weren't happening. I talked to my doctor who agreed to get some blood work tested for the common
things PCOS (Polysystic Ovarian Syndrome), etc. The findings showed that certain hormones (Prolactin) were elevated, which would be great it was a pregnant, but I wasn't and I certainly did not have PCOS. So WTF body, what is wrong with you?! We re-tested my Prolactin levels and my doctor noted that if the Prolactin levels were high one more time, that could be an indication of Hyperprolactinemia, but she wouldn't be able to diagnose me with it because I would need an MRI to see if I had a tumor causing this spike in hormones. The tests came back ever so elevated over "normal". I freaked out, and ordered an MRI stat, by this time it was December, still nothing baking in my oven, and now this.

Doug got an MRI earlier that year for some knee issues, and the lovely MRI techs all let him see his pretty pictures after the procedure. I on the other hand was not so lucky. I laid in a warm magnetic tube that  was loud, it sounded like techno music (without a catchy hook), blaring at me for 50 minutes.

Three days later they told me I had a pituitary tumor. I had a mini meltdown, oh and by mini I mean major. In doing research I saw that Hyperprolactinemia/Tumors go hand in hand, and depression, and craziness, and all sorts of horrible things come along with it. I was having this breakdown because I didn't want to end up like my mother. She is crazy, to the max, a pathological liar, and taught me nothing, well that isn't completely true, she did teach me how to keep a family fed, pay bills and have patience for child like adults. But these things really shouldn't concern a 6-10 year old, ever. With this diagnosis, I saw myself turning into her. I thought, OH SH!#% I am turning into a crazy, hence the major meltdown.

Doug was amazing at this time. He assured me that crazy people, don't have the self reflection to even know they are crazy. And I was not/would never be anything like my own mother. My dad and brother reiterated this point strongly. I have such good guys in my life.

In future blood tests my doctor saw my Prolactin levels drop. My cycle was still irregular, so my doctor started me on Clomid. It's a miracle drug that makes my body do what its supposed to, and helps me catch the pregnancy. Too much Clomid makes me feel dizzy, and gives me hot flashes. Oye vay!

In late March I started feeling gross, coffee wasn't palatable, I had a weird appetite. My DAE (dopey, yet adorable employee) even came by to go get me coffee, and I turned him away....but I did make him go get me food. Something was off.

I was feeling a little (a lot) hopeless, in this whole baby making adventure. As I was watching Prince William marry Kate Middleton, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Then I went back to being all royally obsessed for the next 15 minutes. I casually went to the restroom, and glanced down at the two pinks lines and flipped out! I ran out to Doug in the living room, waving my pee stick in the air (like I just don't care) and crying. He said "Take another one!" so I did, this time it was a beautiful blue + sign. YAY! I was totally pregnant!

I called my doctor that morning, and said I took 2 tests and I'm sure I'm pregnant. I went to go get a blood test (which also turned out to be positive), and scheduled my first OB appointment. I was finally a pregnant lady! I got an ultrasound to make sure everything was up to snuff, but I was measuring a week behind, But I saw the little sac of cells, and got all gushy towards my womb. I kept thinking that my body would catch the little baby blob up to speed soon enough.

I journaled like a mad woman, I wanted to write down every sign/symptom/feeling etc. so I could tell my future child just how awesome the experience was.

Weeks later I went back for an ultrasound and check up, and I could see the heart flickering. The baby's heartbeat was a strong 120 beats per minute (in the normal range for babies)!

I had a single sharp pain on June 2nd. It felt like a shock. I decided to ignore it for a solid 24 hours, then I succumbed to internet message board pressure to just go get checked out. I scheduled a first-time-pregnant-and-paranoid ultrasound. The ultrasound tech pulled all her best moves, but we still couldn't see anything inside the gestational sac. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I started hysterically crying, like a 5 year old, I was hiccuping, inconsolable, and mostly just devastated. The ultrasound tech was a pro, she had done this before, and she was the most kind, most tender person in that room (besides my husband). However, the overall OB experience was that of horror stories, let me preface by saying my normal OB was out that day. They tried to rush me in for surgery at 5pm that day so they could remove the sac, and clear me all out. I wasn't having it, and I came back to talk to my real doctor about my options, and after running a few more tests just to be sure and getting one more ultrasound she prescribed me some medication to jump start the inevitable. The process was long, and horrible, and painful, but I miscarried mostly at home, and then I went in for a check up in late June and it was over.

No more baby. Completely gone.

One thing that I should mention is my friends and family really helped me get through this rough time in my life. Here are some things that you shouldn't say to a person that JUST miscarried,

"All things happen for a reason".
Although the above statement is true, it is not comforting.

"At least you know you can get pregnant".
This point will become comforting way later, but if I just miscarried, I don't need a reminder that I was just with child.

A few things that you should say,

"I'm so sorry for your loss". *hug*
"I love you and I'm here for you". *hug*

I'm still remaining hopeful that I will get pregnant again, and I will get through the entire pregnancy and have a wonderful bundle of joy to call my own. I hope to be an Alma Mater to my own flesh and blood eventually. Alma Mater means Nourishing Mother, my dear employees, diva Murry: Mary and MarBEASLA: Marlesa gave me that nickname,  I love you all. No one ever talks about miscarriages, I want to change that. The experience can feel isolating, and frustrating. I know a few people that have had miscarriages before me, and I have been eternally grateful for their candid openness to help me through my difficult time. If you guys have any questions, or have stories of your own to share, then do it! I am here for you.

The important questions of life.....

Why are we here?

What is my purpose?

and probably the most important question to ask is...

Who will go see Twilight with me in November?

I think I found a Twilight fan at work, WHOOOHOOO! All is not lost. I'm pumped. Groan all you want Stephanie Strahan (and the other 50% of my friends who hate all Twilight fans), but Twilight is coming to an end, and I need my vampire/werewolf/human love triangle fix. And before you start attacking me in posts, just know that I think the concept is ridiculous, and I understand that it wasn't well written. I can't read the word "chagrin" without cringing, but damnit, I love the story behind it, you know boy meets girl, boy wants to kill girl, boy and girl fall madly in love, etc, etc.

Doug has already stood his ground, he will not be seeing the films. Good for him, except when they come out on DVD I will tie him down and force his eyes open so he can take in all the diamond skin gloriousness that is Edward Cullen.


I can hardly wait....

I have a crush on a every boy...

That's a quote from Teen Girl Squad, and if you haven't heard of TGS, then you need to go here, and check them out.

I do get crushes easily, my lastest infatuation is with Zooey Deschanel. Just look at her, she looks SOOOO good (another quote from Teen Girl Squad, seriously, you will need to go watch TGS before reading this blog entry). She is quirky, and cute, and not a whore. Those are qualities really hard to come by in Hollywood. She is my #1 girl crush (ok, maybe #2, Selma Hayek is and always will be my #1).

My second, and I think my longest (since 1996) crush, is Jakob Dylan of The Wallflowers. He's really easy on the eyes. Doug thinks he looks like a crack head, but I find his features (read: sunken in cheeks and puffy eyes) endearing. I met him once when I was 16 or 17 after one of his shows in Portland, OR, I could feel his facial stubble on my cheek as we posed for our picture, I'm pretty sure that is what heaven is going to feel like. He's also the son of Bob Dylan, and if you knew High School Ana, then you know I LOVE ME SOME BOB DYLAN!



He's undeniably gorgeous





Again, how can you argue with this?

I have a major theme going here, I dig people with dark hair and blue eyes, the contrast is gorgeous! My mother has blue eyes, and my father-in-law has blue eyes, so I'm pretty much banking on the fact that Doug and I will have blue eyed, brown haired children one day, yay!

I'm not 100% sure how genetics work, but I'm pretty sure I have like a 90% chance of cute kids.

For those of you that don't know me, I'm really not that stupid.

Note: My second longest (since 1997) crush goes to Conan O'Brien, I guess I have a thing for lanky, pale, nerdy, self depreciating guys too, swoon.